1
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,144
Some people would
thank the colleague

2
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,712
that drove them to work.

3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,582
You were in a confined area
with Vic? I'm sorry.

4
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,983
My car's still in the shop,

5
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,052
but he made me ride
in the back seat.

6
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,987
Mariah rides shotty

7
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,056
-because she doesn't complain.
-Mariah

8
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,624
is a blow-up doll.

9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,493
HOV companion.

10
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,627
GREGG:
Shh.

11
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,995
Do you guys hear that?

12
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,897
The distant roar

13
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,567
of a 12-ton
7.6 liter diesel engine?

14
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,004
-I don't hear anything.
-Quiet.

15
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,272
There it is. That hiss.

16
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,840
Maybe Mariah blew a patch.

17
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,775
-No, she... No.
-GREGG: Compressed air

18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,511
from a split-panel folding door.

19
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,678
Windows that

20
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,914
don't retract fully.

21
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,417
Paint.
Industrial yellow.

22
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,085
You can tell all of that
from a sound?

23
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,388
I can tell all of that
from a nightmare.

24
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,457
Are we standing?

25
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,695
Hormones.

26
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,063
Acne medication.

27
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:07,235
(sniffs) Victoria's Secret's
"Love Spell."

28
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,470
Happy Teen Outreach Day!

29
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,772
-Oh, my God, slay.
-You ate.

30
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,074
I knew it.

31
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,176
High schoolers.

32
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,446
* *

33
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,783
As you all know from my email,

34
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,051
which, by looking at

35
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,086
your faces, you did not read,
today is

36
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,656
Teen Outreach Day!

37
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:29,623
Goals:

38
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,091
Get teens driving and drum up

39
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,526
good press for our branch.

40
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,728
This takes me back
to my days as a teacher.

41
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,797
-Aw.
-No "aw."

42
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:39,633
I break out into hives whenever
I hear a backpack unzip.

43
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:40,868
Do you know how bad

44
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,436
a job it must have been
for the DMV

45
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,904
to be an upgrade?

46
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,439
Barb, did you bring
this pimple parade in here?

47
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,874
I'm gonna be
photoshopping all day.

48
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,776
I turned the parking lot
into a driving course.

49
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,277
You guys, I'm so excited.

50
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:51,545
Today's gonna slap.

51
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,780
-(exclaims)
-NOA: Hey, what-what are

52
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,683
these cards?
"Yeet, bet, no cap?"

53
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,286
Handy teen slang translators.

54
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,220
(groans)

55
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,355
Gregg, don't be mid.

56
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,823
I don't need those RN. I got,
like, a dozen baby cousins

57
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,924
who are constantly texting me.

58
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,959
They're, like, obsessed.

59
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,328
It's low-key sad.

60
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,961
Low-key. "Sort of," "secretly."
These are great.

61
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,062
Thanks, Barb.

62
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,332
-So dusty.
-"Dusty."

63
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,167
Aw... Oh, no, that's not nice.

64
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,835
I want everybody in slay mode.

65
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,070
W's only today, no crap. Cap!

66
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,240
Well, I'm gonna file
a complaint with HR

67
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,974
if anyone calls me "bestie."

68
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,976
What if call you "testy?"

69
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,279
(chuckles)
Yeah, that's all right.

70
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,880
(grunting)

71
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,150
What are you doing?

72
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,985
Trying to throw out my back
so Barb will send me home.

73
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,987
(groans)
Gregg, you're being ridic...

74
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,990
Wait... so chopped.
Oh, no, that's wrong.

75
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,427
I'm not spending a whole day
with a bunch of teenagers.

76
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,328
Come on,

77
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,829
if anyone should be doing

78
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,331
road tests today, it's you.

79
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,334
-(groans)
-I bet you were a great teacher.

80
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,668
What did your students
used to call you-- Mr. Mosley?

81
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,439
Mr. Gregg? Mr. M?

82
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,308
(gasps)
Busted. It's Mr. M.

83
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,277
-And do not call me that.
-Why don't you

84
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,347
ever talk about teaching?
Did something bad happen?

85
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,781
Did you have an affair
with the principal?

86
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,484
Did you go on your
Ben Franklin rant?

87
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,018
No, and stop asking.

88
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,687
Only if you agree
to take at least

89
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,056
one road test today, Mr. M.

90
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,025
-Fine. I'll do one test.
-(gasps)

91
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,627
Did you wear
the wrong pants to school

92
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,396
and then everyone
made a really mean nickname

93
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,198
and then you had to withdrawal
from the school altogether?

94
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,336
Dude, I just saw my son.

95
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,804
I'm sorry, what?

96
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,072
My son.

97
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,040
He must go to
East Hollywood Magnet.

98
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,942
Mate, you don't have a son.

99
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,379
That's what I thought until now.

100
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,314
See, there's
a sperm bank nearby,

101
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,383
and 17 years ago,

102
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,518
I dropped off
a little "donaish."

103
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,052
So-so, you, you donated?

104
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,554
-Mm-hmm.
-And they accepted it?

105
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,291
Many times. And then,
in comes these kids today

106
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,560
and there's one
that looks exactly like me.

107
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,161
(sighs)

108
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,329
There he is.

109
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,598
Him?

110
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,733
I don't think that's your son.

111
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,502
(grunts)

112
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,236
Whoo!

113
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,405
Huh.

114
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,741
Is this the "locaish"
for the "examinaish?"

115
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,643
Vic, I think you're right.

116
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,346
Someone used your sperm
for "inseminaish."

117
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,180
Oh, my God.

118
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,650
-There's two of you.
-Yeah.

119
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,389
CECI:
Excuse me, what are you doing?

120
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:18,526
Uh, I told Sacramento Sally
about Teen Outreach Day

121
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,261
and she said if we give her
a 20-second clip,

122
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,564
she'll put it on DMV-TV L.A.

123
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,233
DMV-TV is so lame.

124
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,935
Nobody cares about
the history of asphalt

125
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,102
or that silly little game show

126
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,504
where you
have to name road signs.

127
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,239
Oh, Win, Lose or Yield?

128
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,341
I love that show.

129
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,108
The host is a traffic cone.

130
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:36,777
Only idiots watch DMV-TV.

131
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,980
I heard that Ray Henderson,
director of the California DMV,

132
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,048
watches all the time.

133
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,282
Mm-hmm.

134
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,051
The point is, this is a huge

135
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,419
opportunity for us. I already

136
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,887
shot a bunch of footage.

137
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:51,124
I just need
my lead actor. My star.

138
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,593
Star?

139
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,262
Oh, my God. Barb. Hello?

140
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,229
I have

141
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,099
so much on-camera experience.

142
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,067
(laughs)

143
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,902
I was a baby model.

144
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,303
Do you remember
that cereal commercial

145
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,506
but the baby was
slightly too hot for a baby?

146
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,740
That was me.

147
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,175
Okay, you're hired.

148
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,109
Aah! Really?

149
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,712
But it's only one line.

150
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,614
One line?

151
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:14,982
But tons of action.

152
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,917
How do you feel
about doing your own stunts?

153
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,420
Are you comfortable
with a small, minor explosion

154
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,721
behind your head?
(imitates explosions)

155
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,190
My whole vibe
is small explosions.

156
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,295
Okay, AJ, a few rules
before we begin.

157
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,163
No phones, no dabbing,

158
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,600
no live-streaming
your "driver era."

159
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,602
"Oh, but my followers
need content."

160
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,904
This isn't content.
Am I clear?

161
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,806
Whatever.

162
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,341
Great.
I love your enthusiasm.

163
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,710
I'm gonna play
some driving music.

164
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:43,811
Do you have any preferences?

165
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,746
I don't care what we listen to.

166
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,180
What?

167
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,451
A teen without ridiculously
strong opinions on music?

168
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,553
Oh, I get it.
You just read

169
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,289
Sartre in your English class
and now you're trying on apathy.

170
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,258
Bro, I barely read my texts.

171
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,493
Okay.

172
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,562
Well, skip the music

173
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,997
and just start the test
whenever you're ready.

174
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,365
-(sighs)
-(engine starts)

175
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,700
Okay, stop right there.

176
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,536
You forgot to do
the pre-drive safety check.

177
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,404
That's an automatic fail.

178
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,475
This is where
you're supposed to beg me

179
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,009
to give you another chance
because you're supposed

180
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,378
to pick up your crew
from the Taco Bell.

181
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,048
A-a crew?
No thanks.

182
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,383
Ah, yeah.
You're a loner.

183
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,852
Zoom school got you scarred

184
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,353
and now you're
hiding behind Fortnite.

185
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,589
Not into video games.

186
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,592
Not into video games,
not into music.

187
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,260
You don't care if you fail.

188
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,096
Do you care about anything?

189
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:38,666
Nah.

190
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,000
"Nah?"

191
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,203
Nobody "nah's" me.

192
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,305
I invented "nah."

193
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,046
COLETTE:
Oh, Greggles,

194
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,247
how was the road test?

195
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,348
Did you get
the closure you needed

196
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,750
about your teaching past

197
00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,220
when your most promising student
let you down by...

198
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,756
You know what,
it's not my place.

199
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,192
(gasps) Trading his textbooks
for the heroin spoon?

200
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,394
Not ready to share.
Got it.

201
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,397
-That test was bizarre.
-Mm?

202
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,432
I've come across
all kind of kids.

203
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:15,135
Jerks, slackers, druggies,

204
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,004
class clowns, teacher's pets.

205
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,840
Oh, no, no.
We're called "try-hards."

206
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,241
There was something
about this kid.

207
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,611
-He didn't care about anything.
-Yeah,

208
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,078
but that's every teenager.

209
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,880
No, but this kid is different.

210
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,048
I failed him,

211
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,316
he didn't

212
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,752
flinch. He just
stared off into space.

213
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,386
Pure apathy.

214
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,723
I've never met anyone
like that before.

215
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,291
Um, have you met you?

216
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,928
I know what this is.
I think...

217
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,296
I think you see yourself in him.

218
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,498
Yeah, sure, if AJ was my age,

219
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,899
I would love to grab a beer

220
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,901
and dead-eye a wall
until the bar closed.

221
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,803
-That is so sweet.
-I didn't stop caring

222
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,672
until I was much older.

223
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,008
Sixteen is way too young
to be that disillusioned.

224
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,846
-Caught it.
-What?

225
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,014
The sparkle in your eye.

226
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,315
You're just

227
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,784
itching to get back
in the game, to shape

228
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,485
and inspire a young mind.

229
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,621
Please.
I'm done with that life.

230
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:11,825
And also, I'll never
see that kid again.

231
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,293
Totally.

232
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,463
I see those wheels turning.
You better park it.

233
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,931
Totally.

234
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,332
AUTOMATED VOICE:
D-40 at...

235
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,802
NIC:
Would you take a look in this?

236
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,103
Look right there.
Right in there, I think I s...

237
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,005
-Oh! (laughs)
-(exclaims)

238
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,274
Splash! Literally.

239
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,709
Kid's a genius.

240
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,177
I'm gonna take him

241
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,345
on a driving test, see if
I can find out if he's mine.

242
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,347
NOA:
Yeah, well,
he looks like you, he dresses

243
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,250
like you, and he's a bully
who doesn't read the room.

244
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,818
Yeah, but still...

245
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,554
I got a feeling.

246
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,054
BARB:
Last night,

247
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,157
I binged Scorsese's
MasterClass on filmmaking.

248
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,293
-It's all about framing.
-CECI: Okay, Barb,

249
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,495
come on. Can we just shoot this
thing? I think we're good.

250
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:51,565
Let's not let good be
the enemy of perfect, okay?

251
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,433
Good is the enemy of perfect.

252
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,068
That's why everyone
who's a seven hates me.

253
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,369
All right, kids, once you see

254
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,805
the camera push in,
I want you all

255
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,773
to gather behind Ceci.
It's gonna be a oner

256
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,975
like the Copacabana entrance
in Goodfellas.

257
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,711
Pretties in the front,
braces in the back.

258
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:04,645
Let's go.

259
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,213
And no touching the talent.

260
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,115
And action.

261
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,250
Hello.

262
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,385
-Before we start...
-Mm-hmm?

263
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,922
full "disclosh."
I got E.D.

264
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:17,858
Energy drink.

265
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,493
Same, dawg. Same.

266
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,429
Love me some E.D.

267
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:25,032
-Whoo! Yeah!
-All right.

268
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,333
So, Nictor, uh--

269
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,168
You can just, uh, call me Nic.

270
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,970
Oh, I'm Vic.

271
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,739
Short for Vicolas.

272
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,573
Ah.

273
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,910
So, uh, uh, before we get going,

274
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,912
just a few standard Qs.

275
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,681
What's up with your mom?

276
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,082
My moms?

277
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,085
Did you... did you just say
"moms," plural?

278
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,086
Yeah.

279
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,487
I got two of 'em.

280
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,789
And before you ask,

281
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,659
-they're both hot.
-Oh...

282
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,627
Wait, are these questions,
like, uh, part of the test?

283
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,462
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Family history

284
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,064
-affects driving,
-Right.

285
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,766
and so I'm gonna-I'm gonna
get it all down here.

286
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:01,301
Two smokeshow mommies.

287
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,502
Hey, I got a question.

288
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,637
Yeah?

289
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,273
Favorite movie on three.
One, two, three.

290
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,909
BOTH:
Trick question,
not a movie. Entourage

291
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,610
season three?

292
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,212
BOTH:
Whoa!

293
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:15,048
Dude, you passed.

294
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,449
Flying colors.

295
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,484
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.

296
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,886
Yeah, dawg!

297
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,120
(grunts)

298
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,122
I haven't even
started driving yet, though.

299
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,458
You passed something
far more important, son.

300
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,094
I mean little Vic...

301
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,495
Nic.

302
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,629
(chuckles)

303
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,900
Oh, Mr. M,
AJ wants to talk to you.

304
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,802
Uh, you pulled me off the bus

305
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,069
and said I forgot
to sign something.

306
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,437
Oh, well, doesn't matter
how we got here.

307
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,172
The point is you're here now,

308
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,473
and you thought you'd never

309
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,909
see him again, but here he is.

310
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,410
A-a soft mind,

311
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,778
ripe for molding.

312
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,446
-What's happening?
-I'm sorry,

313
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,782
my colleague is addicted
to helping people,

314
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,184
especially those
who don't ask for it.

315
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,553
I think you like helping
people, too.

316
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,322
It's just that
you need a little nudge.

317
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,423
(bus departing)

318
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,524
Oh, welp,

319
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,192
there goes my bus.

320
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,794
Yeah, look at that, Colette.

321
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,462
AJ missed his ride.

322
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,664
I can take the public bus.

323
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,666
Oh, no.
Colette can take you home.

324
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,101
She got you into this mess.

325
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,437
I'd love to,
but if you remember,

326
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:11,872
my car's in the shop.

327
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,474
Okay, fine, I'll drive you home.

328
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,310
I'm coming with. I'm not
gonna miss Mr. M in action.

329
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,479
Wonderful.
There's nothing I love more

330
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:22,382
than having an audience
during gridlock.

331
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,188
Two moms, no dad.
Enter Papa Vic.

332
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,522
Papa Vic?

333
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,991
-Yeah.
-That's quite...

334
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:31,925
Awesome, I know.

335
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,293
So, I just need his phone number

336
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,828
so I can contact his moms.

337
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,663
Can you hack into
the database and snag

338
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,031
-that for me?
-Dude, I... I don't think

339
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,232
you want to ambush
them like that.

340
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,567
They got the product,

341
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,702
why wouldn't they
want to meet the factory?

342
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,072
Can-can you just, like,
call the sperm bank?

343
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,373
That's a great idea.

344
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,741
Okay.
-Gosh, I used to

345
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,076
go there several times a week.

346
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,410
-I don't want to hear any more.
-Yeah.

347
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,979
They let me pick out
my own magazines.

348
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,646
-Yeah, that's why. Please don't.
-I had some faves.

349
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,515
BARB:
And... action.

350
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,684
East Hollywood DMV
held its first ever

351
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,219
Teen Outreach Day,
where we supported local teens

352
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:02,289
on their journey to becoming
licensed drivers.

353
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,323
Okay, great warmup.

354
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,858
Let's do it again, real deal.

355
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,359
Real deal?
Barb, that was the real deal.

356
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,427
You weren't recording?

357
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,595
And action!

358
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,498
East Hollywood DMV held its

359
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,665
-first...
-Cut.

360
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,067
I'm not hearing "Hollywood."

361
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,836
-(clears throat)
-Action.

362
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,637
East Hollywood DMV
held its first ev...

363
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,839
-Oh, cut.
-Mm.

364
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,173
Sorry, that's on me.

365
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,509
Technical problem.
Finger in the frame.

366
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,444
Action.

367
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,879
East Hollywood DMV

368
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,447
-held its first ever T...
-Cut.

369
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,016
-Throw it away more.
-What does that even mean, Barb?

370
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,784
What does that even mean,
"throw it away more?"

371
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,252
And smash to
talent getting difficult.

372
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,921
Difficult? Me?
You think I'm being difficult?

373
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,255
Barb, I've been
standing here for hours,

374
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,556
waiting to say this dumb
little line.

375
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,091
-Are you kidding me?
-I have a vision!

376
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:39,426
Oh, well, you know what?
Good luck with your vision,

377
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,861
because I quit!

378
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,462
Well, good luck to you!

379
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,397
'Cause you'll never work
at the DMV again!

380
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,067
For in-house
promotional videos, I mean.

381
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,536
Your regular job
is totally safe.

382
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:53,406
So, AJ, are you going to retest?

383
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,540
Nah.

384
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,043
COLETTE:
Why not? Relying on others

385
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,345
for rides is very annoying.
Just this morning,

386
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,948
my driver tried
to fart the National Anthem.

387
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,816
He made it
to "rocket's red glare."

388
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,118
M-My parents
made me get my permit.

389
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,854
And then school
forced me to come

390
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,121
as part of this stupid day.

391
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,656
I never cared about it.

392
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,659
You never cared, huh?
Hmm.

393
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,028
(engine starts)

394
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,230
Well, if

395
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,631
Mr. M won't step in,

396
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,234
can I ask,
is there trouble at home?

397
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,870
Have you been getting
enough sleep, AJ?

398
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,039
I-I love that you think
some rando driving examiner's

399
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,908
gonna be the one
to get through to me.

400
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,077
Actually, Mr. M here
used to be a teacher.

401
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,645
Sorry, rando driving examiner

402
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,282
and a failed teacher.
No offense.

403
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,517
Offense taken.

404
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,586
Colette, buckle up.

405
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,591
Gregg, what is happening?

406
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,493
(exclaims)

407
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,897
GREGG:
It's time for a lesson.

408
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,469
* *

409
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,939
(Gregg chuckles)

410
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,240
Since you
don't care about music,

411
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,010
I'm gonna play
something that I like.

412
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,880
("Burning Down the House"
by Talking Heads plays)

413
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,049
-* Watch out... *
-GREGG: When I was your age,

414
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,484
driving represented freedom.

415
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,953
* Cool babies... *

416
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,723
Get in my car,
get the wind in my face,

417
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,392
kicking out some kick-ass tunes.
(chuckles)

418
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,628
I could go anywhere.

419
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,063
Felt like I was alive.

420
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,632
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

421
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,501
You are too young
to be so jaded.

422
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,138
You got to earn that.
You have to care now

423
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,006
so you can really
not care later.

424
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:36,243
Not loving this message
or the driving.

425
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,978
GREGG:
Trust me, you need

426
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,680
to build a deep, bitter well

427
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,215
of small defeats.

428
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,751
Like walking into the store
and seeing someone

429
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,619
grab the last bag
of potato chips.

430
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,856
Should not have
let AJ sit up front.

431
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,825
Or finally finding a pair of
sneakers that you really love,

432
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,227
but the 11 is too big

433
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,164
and the ten and a half
is too small.

434
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,731
And then there's the big ones.

435
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,934
Taxes, marriage,

436
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,735
realizing that your dream job

437
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,004
is a nightmare,

438
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,106
and that cilantro
is in everything.

439
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,407
But you know what,

440
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,475
you can't cheat it, kid.

441
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,110
You got to get your license.

442
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,946
You got to get out there,
experience the world so you can

443
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,281
find out firsthand

444
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,050
just how disappointing
life can be.

445
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,918
Because the worst thing
that you can do

446
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,453
at your age is

447
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,955
sit back

448
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,790
and drift.

449
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,693
So...

450
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,529
can you, like, take me home now?

451
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,165
Sure.

452
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,439
(groans)
What do you want?

453
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,940
I got you something.

454
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,111
Look, I wanted to apologize
for using you as a prop

455
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,146
in my pursuit of DMV glory.

456
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,680
Honestly, it's okay.

457
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,915
I'm too iconic for

458
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,183
closed-circuit
television anyway.

459
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,985
I just don't get
why you went all crazy

460
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,586
and made everything
so complicated.

461
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:57,324
Because I thought if we got
a good spot on DMV-TV,

462
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,790
it would give us a leg up and

463
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,294
I could help save us
from getting shut down.

464
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,730
Barb, you save us every day

465
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,832
by being such a great manager.
I mean,

466
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,168
think about how many teens
got their licenses today.

467
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,472
Just promise to never
yell "action" at me again.

468
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,074
I mean never.

469
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,643
-I will not.
-And this is my mug.

470
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,478
You literally
took it off my desk.

471
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,247
Where I'm from, we never
look a gift horse in the mouth.

472
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315
Yeah, you never
look a horse in the mouth.

473
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,385
They bite. That's why
my cousin has that weird hand.

474
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,657
Well, Nictor is not my son.

475
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,659
Guess you wanted
to be a dad, huh?

476
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,627
I wanted someone
to want my sperm.

477
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,695
Hey, I'm sure

478
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,330
-somebody wanted it.
-No.

479
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,665
The bank said not a single vial
has ever been bought.

480
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,968
How is that even possible?

481
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,036
My donor profile

482
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,005
-is so sick.
-Mm.

483
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,006
Oh.

484
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,542
Okay. Wow.
"Hobbies include

485
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,978
"lifting and
feeding my pet snake,

486
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,480
who gets me."
(clears throat)

487
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,514
He does.

488
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,349
(sighs)
I'm sorry, man.

489
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,185
It's not my fault
people are idiots.

490
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,952
Yeah.

491
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,355
Hey, you know what?

492
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,756
I-I think I see

493
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,791
what the problem is here.
Like, your profile--

494
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,426
it's just a little outdated.

495
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,363
Like, it hasn't changed
in years, right? But you have.

496
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,732
Yeah, you're right.
I have grown.

497
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:13,733
-Mm.
-Mainly in

498
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,203
my trapezius and upper glutes.

499
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,838
Right. So, maybe
if we spiff this up,

500
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,208
it could get some more
traction, yeah?

501
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,742
Uh, okay.

502
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,176
Obsessed with me much?

503
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:27,247
(laughs) Great.
Um, where do we start?

504
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,182
Uh, how about
physical description?

505
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,584
Where it says
eye color, you wrote...

506
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,752
Bronze.

507
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:33,753
But, um, your eyes--

508
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,388
they're-they're brown, mate.

509
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,756
So, why don't we just say brown?

510
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:37,857
Dark gold.

511
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,792
I'm just gonna write "brown."

512
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,429
*

513
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,001
GREGG:
Whatever it is, just get it out.

514
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,239
I just want to apologize
for that whole mess

515
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,941
with AJ,
and dragging you into it.

516
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,578
And for throwing up in your car.

517
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,680
You're paying for the detailing.

518
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,014
Absolutely.

519
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,552
I never should have tried
to bring back Mr. M.

520
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,521
But you did say
it was your dream job.

521
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,923
And you stopped because...

522
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,925
-Oh, I never told you why?
-No, you didn't.

523
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,093
And I never will.

524
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,595
That's... mean.

525
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,530
-That is mean.
-I will tell you this.

526
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,866
It was really fun to get back
into the teaching saddle.

527
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,270
Especially the part where I got
to tear up the parking lot.

528
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,172
After the DMV

529
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,906
screwed me over with this chair,

530
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,775
it felt good
to get back at them a little.

531
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,710
But you gave
such an amazing speech

532
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,579
and AJ just didn't care.

533
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,080
Well, that's teaching.

534
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,648
There are no clear victories.

535
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,116
You never know when or if

536
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,252
Something's gonna
get through to 'em.

537
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,487
Such a hard job.

538
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,954
Guess that's what
makes teachers heroes.

539
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,256
Heroes?

540
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,358
No, we do it
for the long summer breaks.

541
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,060
CECI:
Hello! You two.

542
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,830
Our DMV-TV spot is about
to play right now. Come on.

543
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,232
Oh, great.

544
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,134
NARRATOR: In a world where teens
are forgotten...

545
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,304
-TEEN: I want freedom!
-TEEN 2: Get out of my room!

546
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,439
TEEN 3:
Nobody gets me!

547
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,107
I just want to drive.

548
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,211
NARRATOR: ...there's one place
that puts teens first,

549
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,079
and into the driver's seat.

550
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,682
-It's the...
-ALL: DMV!

551
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:13,420
NARRATOR: From the mind
of Barbara Jason Berry,

552
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,589
and introducing
Cecilia María Lucía Rodríguez

553
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,191
as Ceci.

554
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,993
East Hollywood DMV held its
first ever Teen Outreach Day

555
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,629
where we supported local teens

556
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:25,532
on their journey to becoming
licensed drivers.

557
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,300
(rock music playing)

558
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,537
You brought my vision to life.

559
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,772
How on earth did you
do that overnight?

560
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,208
Mm. Remember that little man
that's obsessed with me?

561
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,277
He, like,
owns a studio or something.

562
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,545
(cheering)

563
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,981
Thank you, Ceci.

564
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,182
Okay, Barb.

565
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,051
AJ:
Excuse me.

566
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,154
Where do I go for a retest?

567
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,822
("Burning Down the House"
by Talking Heads playing)

568
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,328
You did it, Mr. M.

569
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,730
* Ah, watch out. *

570
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,169
There he is.

571
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,038
Dude, after you
redid my profile,

572
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,541
somebody bought a batch
of my teeny, tiny tadpoles.

573
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,842
-Really?
-Yeah.

574
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,010
-That's great.
-Yeah.

575
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,045
The receptionist
I was vibing with

576
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,981
called me, all hush-hush.

577
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,216
I think she saw
my hot new profile

578
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,419
and wanted an excuse
to talk to me.

579
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,920
A little "invitaish."

580
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,089
Oh.
Congratulations, man.

581
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,557
Hey, you believed in me, man.

582
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,559
So, um, when that kid is born,

583
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,894
I want you to be the godfather.

584
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,095
I don't think
that's how it works,

585
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,430
but thank you, I'm flattered.

586
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,031
You the GF.

587
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,333
(Noa chuckles)

588
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,841
Hi.
Hello. Um,

589
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,277
I-I recently, uh, purchased
a vial of your sper...

590
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,213
Uh, the stuff you sell.

591
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,182
Yes, I-I was just wondering,
I don't actually

592
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,118
have to come pick it up, do I?

593
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,355
Okay.

594
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,490
Yeah, I'll-I'll
be there by 7:00.

595
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,731
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

596
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,467
and TOYOTA.

597
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,003
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org